26th October
by Sophie Temrer Rimmer-Artley
Summary: The 26th October is a very special day... Dedicated to cazflibs, Andy0001z, Feline Ranger and Raging-Rambo-2006 xxxx


**AN: This is just for a laugh, so I hope you like it! Set on... any timeframe really, but Rimmer is hard-light. Lovingly dedicated to Andy0001z, cazflibs, Feline Ranger and Raging-Rambo-2006, whose fics have inspired and entertained me. Enjoy!**

_26__th__ October, on board the JMC Mining Ship 'Red Dwarf'..._

Rimmer was sitting in the drive room with a book when Lister came running in excitedly.

"Rimmer, Rimmer, guess what day it is?"

"Jump Up And Down Like A Jack-in-the box Day?" Rimmer said sarcastically.

"No, much better! It's the 26th October!" Lister grinned,

"Oh God." Rimmer groaned.

"Jeez Rimmer, anyone would think you hated Sophie Whitlock-Stark-Rimmer. Aren't you happy with all she's done for you? For us?"

"What? She makes me out to be some sort of emotional gibbering wreck, then more often than not, makes me fall in love with you! In what way should I be happy?"

"Because she's helping all of us. Everyone on is helping us. Would you rather have stayed buried in Doug Naylor's imagination for the rest of eternity?"

"Well if the alternative is flouncing around as Ace in cazflibs's Ace Chronicles, and meeting my mother in deep space in Andy0001z's Election Day, and, and, and..."

"And falling in love, Rimmer. Raging-Rambo-2006's A Tale Of Two Suitors, and her sequel, The Next Generation. Remember those? Remember Rowan? And your children AJ and Caz?"

"I suppose..."

"And Sophie's When She Arrived? With Crystal and your daughter Hannah?"

"Well... But what about you? What about some of the messes you get into? Mauled by my lust personified in Feline Ranger's The Battle Within? Getting stuck in the AR bodysuit in Andy's Trapped? Breaking your leg in Sophie's fic Help!, Listy, remember that? And I won't even start on the fic Somewhere Else..."

"I know, I know, I was a prostitute, and I got that horrible disease that nearly killed me, but so what? At least we're living. At least we're doing something, instead of being left on the shelf. Now are you gonna celebrate Sophie's birthday with us or what?"

"The answer is what, Listy. I can't bear another day of watching you and the Cat inhale helium and sing and dance to We No Speak Americano." Rimmer said.

"Aw, c'mon Rimmer, it's one of Sophie's favourite songs!"

"Yes, but if it's not We No Speak Americano, it's High School Never Ends by Bowling For Soup. Story of my life, that song, and the band has a ridiculous name."

"You can't hate that song, it's too catchy!" Lister said. "_The whole damn world is just as obsessed with who's the best dressed and who's having sex..._"

"Aaargh!" Rimmer groaned, putting his hands over his ears. "Go away, Lister. Celebrate all you like, but I won't be joining you."

Lister shrugged and bounded off, before suddenly coming back in with a mug.

"Oh, Kryten asked me to give you your cuppa tea." Lister said, handing it to Rimmer. "See ya!"

"Git." Rimmer muttered as he watched Lister go. He took a sip of his tea. It tasted a little funny, but that was probably the urine recyc water it was made with. He continued to drink it as he read.

A few decks away in the officers club, a full on party was underway. Weightless by All Time Low was blasting from the speakers, and two very high-pitched voices could be heard singing along.

"_Maybe it's not my weekend, but it's gonna be my year, and I'm so sick of watching while the minutes pass as I go nowhere..._" Lister and Cat squeaked along, before collapsing in laughter.

"Boy, if Alex Gaskarth heard that, he'd have a heart attack." came a voice from the doorway.

"Sophie! Ya made it!" Lister yelled enthusiastically, barrelling across the room and giving the girl a hug. Sophie smiled.

"Of course I made it. Why wouldn't I?"

"Your profile said you were on hiatus cause you're away in Cyprus." Cat said, coming to join them with a graceful leap and pirouette.

"I wouldn't miss this for the world, guys." Sophie told them with a grin. "No Rimmer?"

"He's being a smeghead. Luckily I slipped a hefty dose of vodka in his tea, he'll be around in no time." Lister smirked, high-fiving Cat.

"Forgetting a few people here, Sophie?" came an amused voice, followed by a few jokey sighs of exasperation.

"Oops, sorry." Sophie said with a laugh, turning to the people standing behind her. "Guys, this is my boyfriend Ashley, and, of course, my fellow fanfic writers, Andy, Caz, Jo and... um, what _is_ your real name, Feline Ranger?"

"Just call me F. It's shorter." came the reply.

"Okay. And F." Sophie finished.

Ashley came forward and shook Cat and Lister by the hand, and the others all said polite hellos.

"Well, for now, this is everybody." Kryten said, clanking over to them.

Sophie grinned. "Brilliant. Oh, this is such a great song!" she said, as Green Day's American Idiot started to play. "Let's get this party started!"

"_Don't wanna be an American Idiot, don't want a nation under the new mania, and can you hear the sounds of hysteria, the subliminal mind fuck America..._" they all sang.

About an hour later, in stumbled a very drunk Rimmer, as the others stood by the buffet eating and drinking.

"Drunk Rimmer is _so_ much sexier." Caz giggled to Jo, a little tipsy herself.

"Lister, you put alcohol in my tea, and I should be cross with you, but I'm too pissed." Rimmer slurred. "Oh, happy birthday Sophie." he added.

"Thanks Rimsy. I'm glad you came." Sophie smiled. She was the only fully sober one among the group, being a teetotaller. She leaned over and gave Rimmer a casual one-armed hug, keeping the other arm wrapped around Ashley's waist.

"Hey, Soph, listen." Ashley said.

"Yes! It's this song!" Sophie cheered, recognising it as You! Me! Dancing! by Los Campesinos!.

"_If there's one thing I could never confess, it's that I can't dance a single step..._" Rimmer sang loudly and tunelessly, making everyone laugh.

"_It's YOU!_" Sophie shouted.

"_It's ME!_" Ashley yelled back.

"_And it's DANCING!_" they said together, laughing.

"So how old are you anyway Soph?" F asked Sophie.

"Seventeen today. I can barely believe it. I can start learning to drive now!" she said with an excitable little jump into the air.

"You're young. You're so young." Caz sighed enviously. "I wish I was still seventeen."

"So do I, but it's not gonna happen." Rimmer shrugged.

"You know what, Arn?" Caz said, turning to him. "You're right. It's not gonna happen. We're not getting any younger. Gotta seize the moment while we can." And with that, she lunged at Rimmer and kissed him on the lips.

"_Caz_! You're _married_!" Sophie said in shock.

"So? This is a fanfic. I can do what I want in here." Caz retorted.

"But you forget that I could control this story if I wanted. I could make your husband appear, right here, right now! Don't force me to do it!" Sophie threatened.

"O-kaaaay." Caz grumbled, letting go of Rimmer's shoulders.

"Sophie, why don't you drink?" Jo asked.

Sophie giggled. "Because I choose not to! What is this, a birthday party or an interrogation? I didn't expect the bloody Spanish Inquisition."

"NO-ONE EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!" Lister yelled, and everyone burst out laughing.

"Turn up the music please, Holly." Sophie called.

"On it, Soph." Holly replied.

"Let's party!"

**Hope you dedicatees liked it, and anyone else who read! Review please!**


End file.
